Cockblocks

Oh boy...here we go. For all you bro's out there we all know that one guy or girl who cockblocks you on every occasion you speak to the opposite gender. Now from my experience I have only been cockblocked by males and never females so for this article it will be about males in general.

Now relax and think back to that one party...where everything was all sunshine and rainbows. Where the girl of your dreams and you were chatting. Where everything seemed to be going great. Then out of the fucking blue comes...wait for it....a cockblock!! Now these cockblocks will pose as your friend just trying to talk. HOWEVER any real friend will never purposely cockblock his mate. I mean if it was a girl who you had no interest in or it was some cruel joke fine, but if this was a real time attempt of cockblocking then we got a problem.

Let me explain this to you using experiences from my own life story. It involves my good friend John Vagina Vargas. So picture this, John is walking with the lady he likes and things are going well. Then the cockblock strikes...and he strikes hard. John is completely pushed out of the frame and the cockblock has ruined the interaction which at that point cannot be repaired. That was a good example however allow me to tell you another from my own personal experience. Basically I was at my mates birthday party and I was conversing with a particular lady over some cake. Now it was a very casual and relaxed conversation. This was however before the cockblock arrived. He arrived in vintage cock block fashion. Used his body to kinda create a disconnection between me and the girl and also by being awkward as fuck. This was the perfect attack since it created an awkward atmosphere to the point where the girl would be so freaked out she can no longer converse.

Now if you are ever being cockblocked I urge you to use these next few steps. I had to learn this for myself through actually being cockblocked. Firstly IGNORE THE COCKBLOCK. This is basic and might work if the cockblock is not a serious threat. However if this does not work, try and move you and the girl away physically while trying to make it seem casual. If its at this point and the cockblock is still being an asshole I urge you to get help from your dedicated wingman. Or do what I believe works better. Turn around. Look the fucker in the eye. Now say "Bro you're cocblocking...fuck off!"