How to cockblock

Well...well...well. Welcome to the number 1 article on how to cockblock!! Now I do not endorse cockblocking however if you ever have the sudden urge to completely screw over one of your mates then continue reading and learn from the very man who has survived the worse that cockblocking can throw at him.

Hi my name is Jason Tran and I am the expert on Peteology and the science of cockblocking. Now I myself am a veteran of numerous cockblocking attacks and I have endured them all. From my encounters with the deadliest cockblock on the planet I have learned the supreme and deadly arts of cockblocking down to a science. If you want to ruin relationships, if you want to keep the population down, if you want to be the best cockblock you can please read and buy my hit book, Cockblocking 101 which has ruined many lives.

Step 1: Be as Awkward as FUCK!! The more awkward you can be the better! Now im talking about standing there between your two targets and doing what ever is possible to make it awkward as fuck. Stare, smile creepily, and you will in no time ruin the chances of the poor male or females chances of getting romantic.

Step 2: Even if you do not know what the fuck they are talking about try your absolute best to blend in and join the conversation. Agree, laugh and try and take the conversation away from the person who initiated the conversation romantically. This can be done by interrupting the target, laughing at stupid moments, or keep saying "ah ha...ah ha...ah ha..." while nodding your head as awkward as possible.

Step 3: Touch the targets love interest. Okay laddies and gentleman this has happened to me and it works like a charm. While you are intercepting their conversation try and touch the targets love interest in an awkward and freaky manner. This will break the connection between the two and make the love interest too freaked out to continue speaking to the initiator. Touch their arms...their legs...playfully punch them...or just being a fucking gay cunt works :)

Step 4: Cockblock quickly!! The longer you hold it off the stronger the targets will become emotionally. So make your entrance as quick and as disrupting as humanly possible. Push in...elbow the target out of reach of the love interest. As long as you do it quick and as shocking as possible the better the chances the other steps will work because this will break the connection between the targets and daze them.

Step 5: Flirt with the target in an awkward and creepy way. This is absolutely key to cocblocking because it will infuriate the target to the point of explosive anger! Basically act flirt like a rapist and this will for sure end the interaction for good.

Step 6: Always be on the look out for the wingman! This is a cockblocks worse enemy. They are both opposite in nature and cannot get along. Before attacking your target make sure you survey the room and make sure no close friends are nearby as they can be potential wingmans.