Twitter Romeo's

So I have been on twitter for the past few days and all I can say is that the amount of gay shit I read now is astronomical. Its like these faggots are waiting for the half naked baby with an arrow to shoot them in the fucking ass before they do something! Look here Casper the Lonely Ghost, if you want to fucking write poetry and copy and paste cheesy quotes off the internet, good for it, warning though, you look like a fucking idiot. Trust me, I was one of them, when I was like 12. Do you really think by tweeting love poems on twitter is going to get your dusty nut sacks off floor and become a man? Listen here faggot, go buy yourself a diary with flowers on it and then you can write all the gay shit you want till your balls run dry from loneliness. I'm sick of seeing guys constantly tweeting such unmasculine and stupid quotes! Place your trust in me and understand one day you will face palm yourself when you revive common sense in your punk ass brain! Do you think the girl is going to look at your tweets and fucking squirt juice out of her pussy from excitement? Fuck no! She is going to be laughing her ass off at how whipped and cheesy you are! From there, you are officially her possession, you are going to be her walking wallet, she knows shes got you hooked and there is room for all the gold digging or abuse to occur!

If you want to prove your love, go fucking do it in real life Quasimodo! Twitter is not the place for you to ejaculate your puppy dog, teenage hormone induced, cheesy, gay love quotes! Now I'm sure some of you butt-hurt Romeo's don't agree but that's all good son. It provides me with good entertainment at how pathetic you guys are :)

Faith in the current male population in NSW...destroyed

I am truly in disbelief of how amazingly gay and completely pussy whipped some of the guys in my area are. Fucking tweeting the gayest shit I have ever seen in my life. It makes me wonder what the fuck I was  thinking doing this shit when I was like 12. I mean are you seriously thinking being a keyboard Romeo is going to get your confidence and game on, pathetic loser!!

Ohhh damn she got a sexy ass personality...said no guy ever

Okay laddies and gentleman, if you believe deep down in your achy breaky heart that its love at first site then for all means keep it up. However if you have common sense continue reading. I'm sorry but when you meet someone randomly across the street and you are staring deep into each others puppy dog eyes, most of the time looks attracted you. Laddies, you can be the nicest, amazing woman in the world but if our male minds are not physically attracted then its going to be hard to for us to gain any interest! I'm not saying you have to be Miranda Kerr but at-least respect yourself enough to know that looks do play a factor in the introduction. This is mainly since in my opinion and research, guys seem to care more about looks then woman do. Basically I'm saying guys are more shallow and I'm a pretty good candidate.

For the record I'm am not glorifying being a slut or bitch, instead I'm am encouraging a more realistic mindset when it comes to attraction. If you walk around looking like Krusty The Clown then don't be surprised if guys don't turn your way. Same goes for us dudes, if we walk around looking like something out of Walking Dead same shit applies!  

Guys who type HEHEHEHEHEEHEHHEHE

Does the Friend Zone really exist?

The friend zone is quite a controversial topic in the male world. I myself have served time in the friend zone. The friend zone is a very mysterious place, the friend zone does not exist in reality but rather your thoughts and physical portrayal of how you reacted to the female. In order for a male to see the grim after life of a failed sexual advance on a female he must first believe he is in the friend zone or is totally unaware of his fate which is a fate worse then death. In essence what I am saying is, after serving so much time in the friend zone myself I have realized its dirty secrets which I will now for the first time share. Honestly girls do not put you in the friend zone, rather you put yourself in the friend zone. I bet you're all thinking about what I just said. Allow me to further explain this paradox.

Now its time for some tough love. When you are sexually interested in a girl you MUST let her know and make a move. There is no way around it...if you hesitate your fate is the friend zone. Most guys seem to think if they get rejected they are in the friend zone. This is completely untrue based on how you approach the situation, If you approach her with a fresh handful of roses from your mums garden and a box of lollies from Big W with all your happiness on her then she rejects you...that is how you feel crushed and feel friend zoned. She didn't put you in the friend zone, you just overacted and said she put you into the friend zone cause she simply was not interested. Now if you approach her confidently and not in a serious mood and get it over with then you will save yourself so much time. If she rejects you who cares! You're not in the friend zone and your inner confidence is boosted and she will remember you as a confident guy and maybe the next time you see her go for it again with a laugh. Better yet the painful "what if question" is no longer there to haunt you.

NOW! If you're a loser and think that this girl you like will one day magically realize how awesome your Pokemon collection is and fall in love with you, you are fucking a stupid loser. THIS IS HOW THE FRIEND ZONE IS CREATED! GUYS CREATE THE FRIEND ZONE NOT THE GIRLS! THATS WHY THERE IS SO MANY GUYS IN THE FRIEND ZONE! Here is a typical example...the guy likes this girl..he constantly hangs around with her cause he wants to fuck her but is too much of a pussy to ask her out. She assumes he wants to be friends since he is not making any moves and after years he finally makes a move and is rejected. This man put all his happiness and time on this one girl and got friend zoned years ago and now is crushed. If he simply asked her out years ago all this pain could have been avoided or he could of got her.

Perfect example from my life. I like this one girl. Absolutely gorgeous and nice girl. I obviously like her so guess what? I asked her out!! Sure I got rejected but now I know shes not interested and I am no longer asking myself "What if I asked her out?". I moved on now and I'm glad I got the chance cause I didn't put myself in the friend zone cause I tried and I didn't take the whole situation seriously.

In conclusion remember girls only have the decision to friend zone you if you give them the time! Most of the time its YOU who put yourself in the friend zone by being a pussy and not expressing your feelings. Just be the guy who likes girls and is comfortable expressing his sexuality and not being the guy who thinks his the next fucking Romeo and is willing to kill himself over a female.

P.S I once was whipped over a girl for 4 YEARS!! I got friend zoned so deep I hit bedrock.

ZONERS!!! NEW SPECIES!!...sorta

Sorry for the long period of no updates but I just got back from Friend Zone City. In the midst of my incarceration I have had an extended period of time to further study not only the Peteblock but a new species which I have been exposed to. I call these new creatures "Zoners". What is a Zoner? Well lets say they are not nearly as dangerous as a Peteblock but can be just as annoying. Now to clear things up I have been a Zoner myself so I guess I have my past self to be a test dummy. However I have also come to meet many Zoners which I have been shocked to see how far they have evolved into the empty void of the Friend Zone.

It does not end there. What truly fascinates me is they're completely clueless to it! During my incarceration I have studied two Zoners in particular. For legal reasons I shall not name them. I have given them nicknames to better distinguish them. First we have "Lord Friend Zone The Not So Great". This man is the bedrock of the Friend Zone to the point he makes ME look good. He lives in his sad, lonely, dark and moist cave made of tears and lubricant and his eery cries of desperation can be heard as legend has recorded numerous times. I have not met the King however his stories of Friend Zoning make me cringe. Legend has it once the end of times comes he will be released from his prison and come out to rid the world of all that is good.

My next subject is nicknamed the "Dark Prince of the Friend Zone". Laddies and gentleman I can say confidently this man is my favorite candidate since he is so clueless about his situation. Seeing him think he has his finger on the pussy trigger is extremely amusing. Anyone who has served time in Friend Zone City like me would easily recognize these signs and move on ASAP. However he thinks these signs are his ticket into Balls Deep Valley.

I do idolize these two greatly since they remind me of the good old days...when I was 12...or 13 but you get the point. I hope one day they realize the severity of their situation before its to late...LOL jokes they already hit bedrock :D

-Jason Tran
-PHD in Bro science
-Masters Degree in bullshit
-PHD in Petelogy
-University speaker

Thug Life F.t Jason Tran

This picture was taken at my mates birthday party. I was on my way to get some air, the room smelt like alcohol and smoke. On my way out I see my two good mates. They were obviously munted out of their minds and I decided to take a photo with these two. As you see I look completely out of place next to these two guys but I still got a pretty good photo.

Mother of Mercy...

Is this amazing creature female or male?

Just got deported off to Friend Zone City

Farewell brothers. Wish me luck.

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!

The Freeman Food chain

Freeman Catholic College. The ultimate place of learning and well behaved students who's key goal is to learn. In my opinion this is a load of well constructed bullshit. I'm not saying Freeman is a bad school by any means, what I am trying to say is that under all the fancy uniforms and clean classrooms lies a deep dark underbelly of back stabbing and dormant violence just waiting to explode.

Like every school, Freeman has many problems. What differentiates Freeman from other schools is that these conflicts are very top secret and usually occur in every year group behind closed doors. I am fortunate enough to be well antiquated with my particular year group, this provides me with a load of gossip and wisdom to know whats going on around. Before I continue, firstly I must explain the structure in my year group. The barriers between groups in my year is not particularly strong and we are pretty close. Of course we have the basics. The Asian's (my group) The wogs, the wog girls, the fat sluts, the rejects, the extra rejects, the commons and the lads (close mates of mine). Popularity is not a big deal in my year. Whats more important seems to be power and connections. The more connections you have with all the groups the more chances you will filled in on all the latest gossips and feuds which are about to erupt. Good thing for me I am well liked by the wogs and they are the link I have to much of the local gossip.

My group tends to keep to ourselves. This is good I guess as we stay out of all the drama. However a person like me who is naturally curious can't help but go out and try and connect with the rest of groups which populate the year group. Though conflict in our year group is rare, lately my year has been involved in some feuds with other year groups especially the year 12's. This has lead to numerous rumors and fights. Seems like the violence is rubbing off on the younger grades as me and the boys witnessed one morning, a pair of young year 7's or 8's punching the hell out of each other.

Like I said before Freeman under all the professional exterior lies a pool of gossip and tension. People tend to think of Freeman students as snobs and in some circumstances this is true. However this is not the majority of the population who all seem to harbor some deep, dark secrets and feuds which can erupt spontaneously without warning. There is often little build up in Freeman fights and random conflicts can be a result. I guess this is what makes Freeman not a good school, not a great school, but the best school (Mr Wooby). 

Falling off a roof

Well this was an interesting morning. Started off normally and was actually going fairly well, had to go help my uncle working on a roof at this crappy house. I guess I was still a little bit dazed out from getting up so early and shoveling my breakfast down my throat in like 40 seconds. This morning fatigue sure did not help with working on a roof. Now for the record the roof was only as high as the one you see in the picture. I'm alright except for sore back and ass.

It started with me just sitting on the roof handing my uncle some supplies since he did not trust me enough to actually perform anything. He then asked me to fetch him a few nails and unfortunately I  slipped on the slippery morning dew that had built up on the roof. I'm sure the next outcome is no surprise. I slid down the roof and landed straight on my back. Lucky for me I'm a pretty dense fellow and my body didn't shatter into a million pieces. As a result I got sent home early and now here I am blogging instead working on my religion assessment.

Jovonte The Cabra Nigga

Australian Accent? me?

It amazes me when ever my relatives from overseas come over to the land down under. Growing up in Australia I'm used to hearing the Australian accent so much, sometimes it feels like I can't even notice it anymore. This was not the case when my relatives from Canada came over for a holiday. First thing they noticed about me was my supposed "Australian accent" and I noticed his thick Canadian accent which sounds annoying in my opinion. This was pretty funny since he kept making me say the cheesiest lines. Examples include "That's not a knife...this is a knife!" or "Good day mate!"

This shows how foreigners can hear our accents even if we can't hear them. Like most dumb tourist he kept asking me stupid and ridiculous questions. One of them was do we ever ride kangaroos or eat shrimp on the bbq. I mean like really, how stereotypical can you get. I didn't really mind since it was fun to be interrogated by a Canadian for once. I still remember him pointing at a Koala at the zoo and screaming "omg wombat!" I nearly face palmed my hand through my skull when he said that. Its amazing to see how much foreigners love Australia's flora and fauna as well as the city landmarks.

To pay him back for the interrogation about my country I decided to do the same for him. I supplied him with some of our maple syrup and he hated it. I even gave him some Vegemite. Like most uninformed tourist he spread an excessive amount on his toast. I can still remember the vivid image of his face as he took a bite. His face seemed like it crumbled into a million pieces as he spat out every bit of the toast. I enjoyed our time together, it was mostly spent interrogating each other and making each other talk just to hear our accents. If you have not heard the Canadian accent its kinda a mix of the American accent. This is probably since his from Toronto which is more American based I believe unlike more of the French areas such as Quebec.

Never eating at an Indian restaurant again

Unfortunately I have been food poisoned many times in my life. One of the more frequent causes however is Indian food. Now I'm not racist and Indian food is actually delicious. However it does not come out delicious if you know what I mean. My favorite dish is 'butter chicken" absolutely divine.

Getting food poisoned is equivalent to having an alien lay eggs in your mouth and the babies are now ripping your guts out. However getting food poisoned by Indian food is like having lava splashing around in your digestive system. I mean like if you eat Indian food you know you will be ingesting some chilli  food. Unlike most restaurants which warns you about the heat of the food by placing like a pepper next to it, Indian restaurants totally ignore this foundation. For the record I'm not saying every time I eat Indian food I explode, I'm saying NEARLY every time I feel like I'm going to past away.

Indian food is a bunch of spices and random ingredients thrown into a delicious curry. Unfortunately the food usually comes out your ass like the music. I warn any of you guys who ever plan to invite a woman out for dinner to an Indian restaurant to come prepared for the worse. Not only will you smell of goat and spices for eternity but you might be spending more time on the toilet wondering why bad things happen to good people then in the bedroom with the lady. For the record once again I'm not slamming Indian restaurants in general because the ones which nearly killed me were very under class restaurants with what I believe not to be of the highest of standards. If you go to a reputable Indian outing I;m sure you won't be sleeping in the toilet. Just always remember when ever you eat Indian food, bring some perfume and have a good excuse for why you vanished for the past half an hour spewing your guts out.

P.S- Never take a girl out to an Indian restaurant if you have a weak stomach. You will regret it. 

When you think the bass drops and you begin dancing when it didn't even drop :'(

This has to be one of the most awkward outcomes you can possibly commit during your life at some stage. It's like the feeling when you walk into the wrong class room, or when you talk to yourself in public only to realize everyone thinks you're mentally challenged. I can however assure you this feeling is far worse.

Try and remember back to the last party or rave you attended. Try and remember that amazing and sensual build up to what you believe will be a dirty drop. Everything seems awesome till you think the bass is just about to drop its nuts. Then boom! You begin gabbering like a retard while the drop has not even dropped yet. Everyone is looking at you in disbelief and total pity. You only realize a few seconds later only to be humiliated for the rest of the party based on how long you were dancing to nothing. This has happened to me a few times. Its actually worse sometimes when the entire party begins dancing at the wrong time. You see everyone dancing like retards to nothing and it can actually be quite entertaining. As a result this will make the entire party atmosphere awkward as a retard doing a Rubik's cube.

It's not too bad when you do this at a rave because everyone is usually too munted or distracted to realize. However if you are at a party with mates, you can reaffirm yourself that you will be humiliated. Its not however the end of the world. You can quickly change the awkwardness directed at you through saying 'FUCK!" This will make most people laugh and forgive you. Just don't expect any miracles with some people who will hound you for a while for dropping your nuts at the wrong time.

Competitiveness in the family

To begin with I'm a pretty competitive person, in most cases especially when it comes strength or making deals on who can get the highest mark. I also have a pretty competitive nature with my older brother and dad. Being raised in a strictly masculine house hold has made me accustomed to constantly trying to out perform my brother in any way. This was present when I raced my brother to see who can get to the petrol station first to get the milk for breakfast. That did not end good, since my brother was a lot fitter then me back then. However this morning we had a big fight over who will take out the clothes. In my house hold I'm always the guy who has to do most of the work around the house. So how do we settle this argument? Easy, with a arm wrestle to see who will win and who will lose.

The match was fairly easy since I'm stronger then my brother. However he challenged me to push-ups and this was unfair since he knew my shoulders were still sore from my last workout. I'm usually not the type to back down, especially from a display of strength. So we took turns doing pushups and I was able to inch out 43 while he inched out 47. I lost of course and even though I won the original agreement of arm wrestling I had to put out the clothes. I guess it was easier then the time I arm wrestled my dad and he nearly broke my arm in the process of a grueling 3 minute arm wrestle. Yes I lost that too, however it was fun to put up a challenge to the old man for once.

The only person I'm probably afraid of going head to head with is my mum, any Vietnamese kid would understand how scary a pissed off Vietnamese mum can get once you set them off on a eternal yelling spree. Funny how I remember the time I challenged my mum to a cook off to see who can make the nicest Canh Chua. I'm pretty sure that's how you write it, anyways its the sour soup with lots of vegetables and fish in it, yummy. That turned out to be  complete disaster when my soup looked like something you would expect to get in McDonald's on crack and my mums tasted beautiful. I guess being competitive just runs in the family. Hopefully one day I can beat the old man in his own game of a good arm wrestle.

Childhood has been destroyed

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lJ5_ZFKK2t8 WARNING!! If you have not watched this...you are keeping your innocence. However if you are like me and have been soiled long ago then watch it. Probably one of the most disturbing and horrible things I have watched in a very, very long time. It took one of my all time favorite shows as a child and turned it into something which made me cringe.

Rave's are so fun :)

I must admit in all my days, nothing is more fun then attending a rave with your best mates. I remember seeing my brother and cousins attending raves all the time while I was younger. I never knew what the big was about. This quickly changed when I begun to get into hardstyle and hardcore. The music was awesome, still I wondered how fun can a rave be?

The very first rave I attended was pretty shit. Sure it had cool lights and big name dj's present such as HeadHunterz and WildStylz, however I still didn't get the real feeling that I was at a real event. Lucky for me in 2012 I was fortunate enough to attend Bass Control with my best mates Maurice and John. From that night on I became obsessed with raves. It really opened my eyes to actually how crazy these events are. The blinding lights, wet chicks and ear bursting music instantly had me hooked. Bass Control is probably the best rave I have attended so far. It was followed closely behind by Masters of Hardcore. This was a killer of an event. After the event I can promise you my ears were about to burst. Nine hours of the loudest music I have ever heard surely nearly made me deaf. In the following months I attended yet another rave with a group of my mates called Supernova. This is was a small rave, it still packed quite a punch and left me craving for more. Some of the best Dj's in the world were there and nothing beat seeing all the munted cunts everywhere.

Now I'm sure it is no surprise that there is drugs present at any rave. I have been offered weed, ecstasy and my mate was offered some inhaler drug. I did not take any of these drugs. Its important to remember that people at raves are actually very friendly and a simple "no thanks" works wonders. Just relax and enjoy the rave atmosphere and I promise you will learn to love raves too.

I currently am dying to go to Defqon, StereoSonic and more Bass Control events.

Violence against woman

Alright, so I was watching Tv and I saw a pretty disturbing commercial regarding violence against woman. Before I begin, if you're a guy and you have hit a girl then, shame on you. When you ever hit a girl, you are saying three things about yourself. You are not a real man, you are a complete coward and ultimately you are not in control of your emotions. We all came from a woman and hitting a woman in my opinion is like hitting life in the face. I have seen this type of violence first hand when my dad went apeshit and I can tell you now it changes you forever when you see that kind of shit. It's easy to see it on the tv and turn a blind eye, but when you see this happening before your eyes to your own mother it can really fuck you up emotionally.

That's probably why now one of my golden rules in my life is to never cross that line. There is never a reason to hit a woman out of YOUR own anger just prove a point. You're just proving what a coward you are. Now I'm going to sound a little stereotypical and sexist but men are generally stronger. I'm not saying all woman are weaker then men. I know heaps of girls who would fuck my shit up any day. However we are talking about the typical couple. The man is usually stronger and so he should protect his girl!

Basically I was raised by a typical male farther. He wanted me to be strong, brave and in control. However hitting woman is never a choice for me no matter how pissed off I get. If a girl is throwing an emotional fit and is slapping you that's bad too on her part however as the man hitting her back is never an option. You're the man, so act like one and take control of the situation properly.