Never eating at an Indian restaurant again

Unfortunately I have been food poisoned many times in my life. One of the more frequent causes however is Indian food. Now I'm not racist and Indian food is actually delicious. However it does not come out delicious if you know what I mean. My favorite dish is 'butter chicken" absolutely divine.

Getting food poisoned is equivalent to having an alien lay eggs in your mouth and the babies are now ripping your guts out. However getting food poisoned by Indian food is like having lava splashing around in your digestive system. I mean like if you eat Indian food you know you will be ingesting some chilli  food. Unlike most restaurants which warns you about the heat of the food by placing like a pepper next to it, Indian restaurants totally ignore this foundation. For the record I'm not saying every time I eat Indian food I explode, I'm saying NEARLY every time I feel like I'm going to past away.

Indian food is a bunch of spices and random ingredients thrown into a delicious curry. Unfortunately the food usually comes out your ass like the music. I warn any of you guys who ever plan to invite a woman out for dinner to an Indian restaurant to come prepared for the worse. Not only will you smell of goat and spices for eternity but you might be spending more time on the toilet wondering why bad things happen to good people then in the bedroom with the lady. For the record once again I'm not slamming Indian restaurants in general because the ones which nearly killed me were very under class restaurants with what I believe not to be of the highest of standards. If you go to a reputable Indian outing I;m sure you won't be sleeping in the toilet. Just always remember when ever you eat Indian food, bring some perfume and have a good excuse for why you vanished for the past half an hour spewing your guts out.

P.S- Never take a girl out to an Indian restaurant if you have a weak stomach. You will regret it.